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The Ankara Queen

Hello there! My name is Brenda and I am a thirty something year old mid size fashion lover. I have been blogging and creating content for about 15 years now with no sign of slowing down.

I love sharing affordable finds that can be repeated in multiple ways. My email inbox is always open at: [email protected]

The Ankara Queen

Wedding gist!

I know, it’s been a minute. Or more like 1.05 million minutes if you’re all about facts. I’m not going to type a long apology post or explain in just 1 post what I have been up to. No, I’m starting my first post back with some tea because I know how much you’ve all missed my tea! In subsequent posts, you’ll be able to piece together where I’ve been and what I’ve been up to. I will not be posting in chronological order so bare with me as I try and entertain you the best way I know how – by being myself :)Post ImageIn March, I flew to Dallas to witness my childhood friend from Cameroon say I do to her husband. I was privileged to be one of her bridesmaids and the entire few days felt like one big high school reunion as a good number of my girls from boarding school in Cameroon were able to make it. From the bridal shower to the big day itself, to the family BBQ the next day…everything was so beautiful. I am so happy for my friend Bernice and wish her a happy marriage…but now for the tea.

2 major things happened to me at this wedding that I am about to talk about. First of, the bridesmaids dresses…

If you follow me on social media, you may have seen me tag a tailor in my stories about refunding me part of my money. Well, what happened is that back in December, all of the bridesmaids sent Kwame the tailor our measurements along with at least a 60% deposit towards our dresses. I flew out to Dallas on March 23rd, for the wedding which was on March 25th, and immediately went to Kwame’s home to try on my dress. Here is what I tried on…Post Imageand here is what we had asked for…Post ImageSpot the difference?

He said he was still working on the dresses and the final product would be what we had asked and paid for. Come to find out, I was one of the few bridesmaids who actually had a dress to try on that day. Even the following day, the day before the wedding, Kwame did not have anything for some of my fellow bridesmaids to try on. That means, they were about to walk into a wedding, wearing dresses they had never seen or worn before! He informed us that Thursday evening, after the bridal shower, he would come to our hotel with the dresses…he never showed. The next morning, THE WEDDING DAY, he told the maid of honour he would come in the morning…he never showed up. Everyone has make up and hair done, all ready for pictures…but still no sign of our dresses. About 45 minutes before we head to the wedding venue, he shows up with his sewing machine and our dresses, asking us to come to a room to try them on so he can work on alterations. Sweating profusely, he has each of us take turns trying on our dresses (some people for their first time) and wondering how on Earth this is going to work out.

We go to the wedding venue in our bridesmaids robes, while the groomsmen are in their suits, waiting for our dresses to show up. The ceremony was to begin at 2:30. This was now 1:45 and still no sign of Kwame, who was at our hotel, still trying to make alterations…THE DAY OF THE WEDDING! He sends 3 or 4 dresses via the bride’s mom – not even pressed or properly folded. In a bag! Lo and behold, Kwame himself shows up, wit for it…while half of the guests have already shown up and are waiting inside. This picture was taken around the time Kwame showed up with the rest of the dresses. I was again fortunate that my dress was amongst those sent via the bride’s mother.Post ImageI cannot make this stuff up, lol! He doesn’t bring his dewing machine along with him and since some people’s dresses still need significant alterations, do you know what this man proceeds to do? He uses safety pins and regular pins to patch the dresses up and send them on their way. During the ceremony, 1 of the maids of honour had the bow on her dress fall off multiple times. I had to accompany another one to the washroom because a pin kept poking into her skin so much, she could not stand it and we resulted to stuffing layers of paper towels between her skin and the pin. The fabric used was cheap; so much so that by the end of the night, I noticed balls of friction already formed all over my dress. I knew I would never wear it again and did not even bother returning to Canada with it. A mess!

At least I danced my behind off the entire night, getting whatever money’s worth I could. The bride already knew she was going to ask him to refund us once everything was over.

Unfortunately he tried to play me when it came to refunding us the $70USD he agreed to refund (although I definitely feel we should have gotten at least a 50% refund for everything he put us through…). I guess he did not realise I’m from one of the most corrupt countries in the world and therefore know when I am being played. He started giving me the run around, saying ‘he was working on the refund’ for almost a month! I gave him 1 last opportunity to refund me and then had to take it to social media because sometimes, the only language folks respond to is violence. I tagged him in all my stories referring to him and within 24 hours, I got my money back. He said it was unfortunate it had to come to me calling him out on IG *rolls eyes* His excuse was he was sorting out an issue with the platform he uses but I told him he never communicated that with me AND I am the one who had to follow up each week. People like him bank on customers just ‘letting it go’ but not me. I do not like dishonesty and I o not appreciate terrible craftsmanship and customer service. You cannot be bad at both in this industry. There is no excuse for not having dresses ready for a wedding in 2 days. A wedding for which we had sent you measurements 3 months prior. African tailors need to do better!

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Now on to the second incident…

You see how your girl was looking so delicious and tantalizing in Dallas. I went there ready to mingle with potential eligible bachelors of the city, some of whom I was hoping would be at the wedding…when I tell you that the only men who approached me were…MARRIED…with kids…I’m pretty sure Jesus is weeping again. My groomsman partner made an interesting move on me. He asked what I was doing after the wedding and I thought he was referring to the entire bridal party. No, the invitation to his room was for one. His parting words, ‘How the night ends is completely up to you.’ I inquired from my friend, the bride, whether this gentleman was married because I did notice a ban on his hand and she told me he was indeed married…and a father of 3. He had shown up to the wedding alone though. It’s deplorable how many people do not take their vows seriously and my séjour in Dallas showed me this even more as I noticed my friends get asked out for dinners by men whose wives had just given birth in different cities! It disgusts me how many men are okay with cheating on their partners. The real pandemic is the lack of good and decent men out here…

I haven’t lost hope completely but boy oh boy are there way more trash men than decent ones! That’s a conversation for another post…

All in all, I really enjoyed my time in Dallas and hope you enjoyed today’s gist!Post Image

If not that our bride wanted all of us to use the tailor we used, Some other bridesmaid dress options could have looked like this (you can find all dresses and more inspiration here:

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1st dress
2nd dress
3rd dress
4th dress

XOXO
Theankaraqueen